On the Pleasures of Conformity

Introduction

Conformity with society is something that plays a role in everyone's life. As teenagers, we spend our time at a constant war with conformity, always trying to be as different from 'the norm' as possible. However, as we grow older, some point around our early 20s perhaps, our personal sense of identity becomes more accepting of conforming with societies norms.

Rebellion in Teenage Years

While I say teenagers do not want to conform, this is not necessarily true. What I really mean is that teenagers really seek the idea of being different, or rather, special. I think it is more appropriate to say that teenagers have a constant interplay between the ideas of conforming and sticking out. Teenagers want to have a unique sense of self, and so end up going almost too far and stand out too much. The transformation from the period of time when our parents decide how we dress, talk, act, etc. is not instantaneous, it's a gradual slide.

Conformity as Adults

Once we reach adulthood, defined by me as around the early 20s, we stop wanting to rebel as much. Adults conform to society much more than teenagers, though the way they do this is in a different manner than toddlers. Adults have certain groups that they belong to, one could even call them 'cliques'. Don't get me wrong, so do teenagers, but for adults it is different. Adults have multiple groups that they are a part of, whereas teenagers have one or two. Adults also generally conform to the society they live in more.

The Pleasures of Conformity

What's truly fascinating (at least to me) about conformity, is that while it is once something you rebel against, it becomes something you take pleasure in. There are many pleasures of conformity: the morning coffee ritual, the weekend grocery shopping, the neighborhood barbecues. Teenagers (some, not all by any means) would find these things abhorrent, but adults take pleasure in them. There is also less stress, you don't have to worry about what everyone else is going to think all the time, you just go with the flow.

Conclusion

Conformity is a cycle, we first conform to what our parents want and think, then we rebel and pick one thing to define our entire personality, then we eventually find peace in fitting in. This is of course by no means definitive for all adults or teenagers, there are always outliers. Adults conform not because they're told to (like toddlers) or because they are trying to rebel (like teenagers), they make a conscious choice to conform. In essence, adults conform, selectively, because they know who they truly are.